Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Padres Next Years Prediction (funny version)

San Diego:
11/22-The San Diego Padres offer Albert Pujols a minor league contract with no invite to spring training, the king declines and signs with NYY.

11/23- San Diego offers Prince Fielder a minor league contract with no invite to spring training, the prince declines and signs with NYY.

11/24- San Diego offers CJ Wilson a minor league contract with no invite to spring training, CJ declines and signs with NYY.

11/25- The San Diego Padres offer Mat Latos, Heath Bell, Jason Bartlett, and Orlando Hudson to the Chicago Cubs for 10 million dollars. The Cubs say of course!

12/10- The Boston Red Sox, angry that they didn't sign any FA's as New York signed  every single free agent, ask the Padres for some players and they give the Red Sox Jedd Gyorko, Kevius Sampson, Anthony Rizzo, and Casey Kelly for a player never to be named later.

12/20- The Padres, having lost so many players, hired a bunch of men off the street, who all weren't able to run the bases and averaged the age of 98. They all offered to only take 75,000 dollars, instead of the league minimum of 400,000.

12/25- Jeff Moorad doesn't let anybody go home for Christmas.

2/25- The Padres payroll is 62.29$$$

5/2- Opening day draws 3 fans to the stadium. Two of those fans left after one of the men couldn't lift up a bat in the first plate appearance.

9/29- The Padres finish with a 0-162 record and Bud Selig starts to wonder, should I put up a salary cap and force Moorad to leave the league?

No comments:

Post a Comment